I'm just freaking tired of it.

I can't explain how much I dislike you right now. Everyone thinks you're so sweet and innocent, when you're not. Listen, I love you. I'd never deny that. I think you're awesome when we can hangout and not have to worry about anything. But honestly. Why would you do this to your best friend? Do you know how much she loves and cares for you? Do you even realize how lucky you are to have her? Yeah, that's right. YOU'RE lucky to have HER. It's not the other way around right now. You're being selfish and rude and not even caring about the people you 'care the most about.' Now, you're hurting me. I realize I have no chance with him anymore. But out of every single guy on the whole fricking planet, you have to choose him. Whatever. It's your life. Have a good one. Cause I'm done. I'm done pretending I'm okay with it. I never was, and I never will be. I just can't believe you. I know this is one small chapter of life, but this isn't how it's supposed to be. I have a suggestion for you; Think about other people before yourself. I've been doing it my whole life, and even though I want you happy, I don't want you happy with him.

What kills me is I'd never say ANY of that to your face.

So much to say; yet no words will come out.

Basically, I'm just sorry I'm not the perfect daughter. I'm sorry that I'm selfish, and arrogant, and rude. I'm sorry I spend money right and left on stupid things I probably don't need. I'm sorry my grades have been pretty bad this year. I'm sorry I'm stressed out all the time. I'm sorry I don't live up to your expectations anymore. I'm sorry I try my best, when it's never enough. But most importantly, I'm just sorry in general. I know I disappoint you. And, I'm just sorry.

Truth;

I wish I didn't have big boobs. UGH. I HATE swimsuit season.

I wish you couldn't figure me out, but you'd always want to know what I was about. I wish you'd hold my hand when I was upset. I wish you thought I was the reason you were in the world.

I love this boy! :) I'm gonna miss seeing him everyday in choir.

School's Out Tomorrow.

It's kind of a bittersweet moment for me. I mean, I'm totally excited for the summer. I have so many fun things planned and I'm just so ready to sleep in, swim, hangout with my friends, and just have an amazing time. Then I think, "Wow. I'm a Junior in highschool." WHERE ON EARTH DID ALL THE TIME GO?! This is so nuts.