TODAY WAS REALLY FUN

I'm sad that summer's over. But I'm excited to see what the new school year brings. Please, Lord.. don't let me stress out to much this year. I don't think I'll be able to handle it. (That's the thing...I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just pray he keeps me sane and helps me make it.)

Whatever

hopefully today is a great day. I think it will be.

This is why I'd never bail on someone. I'd never just walk away.

Because someone who I loved with everything I had at that time, walked out of my life without a second glance. My heart was left broken, and still to this very waking day, I'm left picking up pieces. Everything seemed to fall downhill from there when I got to high school. Friends leaving me, speech taking over my life, bad grades, etc. But when I meet someone who has changed my life and who is always there for me- I'll never just leave you. Never. We might loose contact, like my LV friends. But I'm trying as best as I can. I just can't believe some people view me as the kind of person who just up and leaves her best friends. Am I really that horrible? Apparently I am.

Why am I such a bad friend?

I can never do anything right. School hasn't even started yet, and I already feel too overwhelmed. I feel like every little thing I do is being judged, and I'm never scoring high. I have amazing friends. I really do. After my best friends and I from LV kind of drifted when we entered high school, I found so many friends that I have things in common with. I can honestly say with my entire heart that I love them more than words even describe. I never thought I'd find anyone else that made me feel the way my 'old group' did, but I know that they do. Sure, I want so badly to rekindle what I had with my old friends. Is that such a crime? They've been there for me since the second grade. We just lost a little contact due to school things, but I want and I need to be there for them. Just because we're not as close as we used to be doesn't mean we can't be that way again. But now I feel like when I try to hangout with both groups, people get angry with me and see me as a backstabbing person who is 'too good' for anyone. I hate this so much. I must be a pretty sucky friend. Awesome.

OH MY GOODNESS

I'M TIRED

Junior Year

Will be amazing. I can feel it inside me. Something great is going to happen. I don't know what, but it'll be great.

I'm actually proud of myself.

I know who I am, and that's a start. No, I don't know what I'm doing tomorrow. No, I don't know if I'll ever find a boyfriend. No, I don't know who I'll be friends with in 10 years. No, I don't know what college I want to attend. No, I don't know why I still have feelings for someone I should be over. No, I don't know how to fix everything. No, I don't know what to say to my friends sometimes. But Yes, I know who Erin Marie Walsh is. And she knows that God is going to lead her to where she needs to be. In HIS timing. Not hers.