Honestly, I hate myself today.

I feel so ugly. I feel disgusted with myself. Honestly, why has society made it seem like the normal thing for girls to be stick thin and drop dead gorgeous? That's not even real. I've cried for hours because I went to a bathing suit store and came out with nothing. Again. I can't take this anymore. I don't feel pretty, regardless of what people tell me. I'm so self-conscious about the way I look and I wish I wasn't. I know that God made me this way, but why? Why couldn't He have given my body to someone else, and let me have the cute one that fits into every item of clothing? It's just not fair. And I hate myself for saying all that. I'm just, I'm just sad and I feel kind of hopeless at this point. I was supposed to hangout with one of my best friends today, (Mackenzie, that's you) but my phone broke so we took it to the store and they said they'd fix it. In the meantime, I went to that bathing suit store with my mom and cried the whole way home because NOTHING looked good on me. NOTHING ever does. Then we went back to Sprint, and they said my phone was basically unfixable. So... that was great. I guess I'm getting a new one tomorrow. But I still can't believe how repulsed I am at myself. I wish I could feel beautiful in a bathing suit. I wish I could feel beautiful, really in anything. It's sad that I don't. It's sad that anyone doesn't. I have all these great friends, and I listen to their problems and worries all the time, and I have no problem with that. I guess I just don't want to tell anyone any of my problems, or my worries. I don't want to put something else on top of them. I can worry about myself. But today, I feel like nothing I do is right. Nothing I wear looks good. And I'm sitting here alone in my bedroom crying. I guess it's life, right?